i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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