Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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