So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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