why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
