So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
