Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
