Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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