Can Purell be used as lube?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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