I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Where is the hickey?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
