quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize