I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
