I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
