you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
