Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
