While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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