You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
