He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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