I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
