Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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