My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
