The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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