I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize