I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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