Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
