we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize