Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
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