I'm really into asian looking animals
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize