i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
