Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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