i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize