Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
