hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I checked into jail on foursquare
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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