definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
