I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
