Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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