I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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