I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
