I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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