I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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