He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
