He had one of those small greek statue penises
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
