Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize