just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize