I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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