I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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