wat bout pragnant strippers??
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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