He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
