He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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