for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
