may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sext me about skeletons
Dicks are not precious.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
