He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
