Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize