It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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