So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
