I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
