Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
