& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
