haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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