I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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