So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
