I need help removing her.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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