we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
