i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
