best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
